it isnt that i have too little to do in the office. i have more than my share in some cases. but my brain is melting.
if you look through the cone into my distracting and slightly bloodshot eye, you will see it is nothing more than a window to the pit of despair deepened by corporate back hoes and hatefully reinforced with stanchions of backwards protocols, held together by the fecal leavings of the rampant “lore Monsters”. this pit i affectionately refer to as Ummagumma.
inside ummagumma, eugene really, really should be careful with that axe… l
Down, down. Down, down. The star is screaming.
[audio:CarefulWithThatAxeEugene]
~~~
along the same subject, but with less screaming… something i ran across the other day that is worth reading all cube farmers in modern society. sourced from http://paws.kettering.edu/~jhuggins
Start with a cage containing five monkeys.
Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water.
After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result – all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him.
After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth. Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked.
Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey.
After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know that’s the way it’s always been done round here.
And that, my friends, is how company policies are made.
Once upon a time?.a long..long time ago?just about everyone in CID use to have an orange safety cone. Chrome folklore has it that developers would put these cones on their heads and perform data dances in the hopes that data would fall from the sky and into their laps. Although the developers danced and danced, the data gods never sent the requested data. ?So the developers took off their cones and went back to the drawing board to figure out how to acquire the needed data.
In the mean time the cones sat and sat and the developers just walked around them. Until one long endless work day that lasted literally 30 days and 30 nights in the middle of Model Year one of the hard working developers who was tired of constantly being interrupted while they toiled away trying to get out their file work took all of the cones and built a wall around them so that others would leave them alone. While as everyone else in CID saw that the developer with the wall of cones was left alone and was able to get their work done more efficiently they wanted there own wall of cones. So the requests and the demands poured into the head of CID for all to have enough cones so that every developer could have their own wall. The dept head, being the nice person that he was, let everyone have all the cones they wanted if it allowed developers to get their work done more efficiently. However, the CID dept head soon got a visit from the Accounting dept head telling him that the cone purchases were costing too much and had to be stopped or Chrome would be out of money soon. So the CID dept head had to tell the developers that there would be no more new cones. Over times the cones slowly died or disappeared and soon there were only one or two of the original cones left that are only used for when people in training take the test.
One day in the past couple of weeks the current managers of CID were trying to figure out how to minimize interruptions for developers when they are extremely busy, when one of the managers who had been here for well, what seems like the beginning of time, started telling the other managers about the above legend. From this story it was decided that although we cannot bring back the wall of cones, ?we can bring back a symbolic cone to represent the wall of cones. So off one of the intrepid managers went trying to find these symbolic cones so that each developer that wanted one could have their very own. So far about 19 of these cones have been discovered with more to come in the next week or.
So for those of you who want a symbolic cone please come see me. However remember that responsibility comes with this cone. You should only use the cone when you are really busy and cannot be interrupted. Putting up your cone because you just do not feel like talking to anybody will be seen as cone abuse and will be reported to the cone gods and you may lose your symbolic cone. J Also, all of us in the dept should respect the symbolic cone and not interrupt somebody if they have a cone up unless absolutely necessary.
Thank You,
That my friends, is how religions get started as well.
i think i would make an excellent cult leader.
i do hate kool aid though, just fyi
So very true.
how can i help cheer you?
he he he, there are so many god damn stupid policies at work, and yet you know someone fucked up so hardcore that they thought they had to write one in order to use it against the next unfortunate bastard who makes a simple mistake